Thursday, September 1, 2011

Writer's Workshop: 10 Do's and Don'ts of flying.

Today I have an amazing guest post for you!
When Mama Kat sent out her prompts for this weeks Writer's Workshop, I knew that I had to have one of my best friends, Christa write my post!
She is a flight attendant for a well known airline, and while she loves her job, she does have a few things to say about the "Do's and Don'ts" of flying!
So without further adieu, I give you Christa!

Mama’s Losin’ It

Dear World,

There are some things you do at the airport that drive me insane!!!!!
So here are a FLIGHT ATTENDANTS 10 do's and don'ts on the airplane...

1. Breath. It is not the end of the world, its a plane ride... It is okay to relax before you get on board. Get a coffee or juice, open a good book, watch the planes land. Enjoy flying! It really is fun!

2. Be nice to flight attendants. We are here to save your ass not to kiss it.

3. Use the bathroom before you get on the airplane. Ours is for necessity NOT luxury. Your stink stays .

4. Don't take your kids with you on a long flight. If you have too you MUST bring them something healthy to eat and something fun to play with. So many parents pump their kids up on sugar because they are on "vacation". They then ask the flight attendants to tell their children to calm down. When did I become mom? It is your kid, is it not? People think they are on a private jet. When playing movies, bring head phones. I don't want to hear the movie "Tangled" on full volume, 6 rows back. It is SO rude!

5. Don't ask stupid questions. Read the signs, look at your boarding ticket. THINK people THINK. If it says gate 10A on your boarding card, on the departure sign AND on the jet way door, what gate do you think you are going out of?

6. DO NOT ever in a million years poke a flight attendant. You don't know me, don't touch me. Use your words! Which brings me to number 7.......

7. PLEASE BE POLITE!!!! The words "please" and "thank you" are rarely used anymore. Many simply point at what they want and assume we can read their mind. What are you 2 years old? Also, when asked what to drink don't say, "coke" or "orange juice". Please say, "may i" and "thank you". Make eye contact! When you don't, it says to the person asking you something, "I am better than you, i don't need to acknowledge you."  

8. When told to turn off your electronics after the boarding door has been closed.. DO IT. Flight attendants do not like babysitting anyone who thinks he can get away with hiding it.. We can tell {we are like ninjas}. Here is an insider note for you, if you chose not to comply with us.. we have the authority to kick you off the flight.

9. DO NOT be a bin hog. If you have 2 items the biggest one goes WHEELS OUT in the over head compartment. The little one goes under the seat in front of you, for take off. After take off, you may pull it out! Put it behind your legs up against the front part of your chair so you have some leg room. Then, on descent, put it back under the seat in front of you. My second part to number 9, NEVER pack more then you can put in the over head compartment. It is not the flight attendants job to be responsible for your heavy luggage. You pack it, you store it, bottom line. If it doesn't fit, check it at the gate.

10. The call light is for emergencies only. Do not hit it unless you are bleeding or we are missing the wing that you saw earlier out your window. flight attendants are friendly when you say please and thank you and they will be out for another round of drinks or to pick up your emergency trash.

Thanks for helping me out, .


I love that girl.
She's such a bunch of sass, wrapped up into this cute little ball.
Make sure you check out Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop so you can play along!
Have a great day!
Buh-bye now!


Miss Angie said...

Great tips. Most of them seem like common courtesy, but sadly some people lack that.

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

This should be given out when people purchase plane tickets!

mssharealot said...

Seriously? Do people need to be told not to poke the flight attendant? Ugh! I wish more people had at least minimal manners....

CJ said...

I don't fly often, but I just returned from a month-long trip to Brazil in which I took 12 separate flights. Except for the final 2 flights on my return trip, every flight took off and landed late. (Sometimes due to fog or other weather, other times due to the plane being late from another location.)

Now, this was the perfect set-up for someone to drink too much in the airport bar, or become angry or worried that they would miss a connecting flight. Being on a cramped plane for long flights is not conducive to pleasant behavior, either. But to my knowledge, everyone behaved well. I'm sure some didn't say thank you or please, and of course, I couldn't see or hear everything/everyone, but it seemed that all went well. (Of course Brazilians are a patient bunch because everything runs late in Brazil.)

All but one flight attendant was great. (There were probably 36-40 of you on my 12 flights.) I know it is a tough job ---being nice to someone who is less than polite has to be difficult. You are trying to please, and some people simply can't be pleased.

My only complaint (not your fault) both on the planes and at airports is that the P.A. systems are so garbled ---and that, along with the noise of the plane---meant that I could understand neither the Portuguese nor the English announcements. I speak Portuguese, but not like a native. And the English was generally spoken with a thick accent.

Maybe you could pass on the word that such announcements should be spoken VERY SLOWLY and distinctly. On international flights, announcements could be posted on the TV screens throughout the cabins. (Probably you use the same or similar announcements over and over ---and would only need to change a few details.) Or they could be pre-recorded by someone with a very clear speaking voice.

Now, to the one exception. When my flight landed in the U.S. on my way home, it was announced that anyone going on to Canada, Asia or Europe would have to retrieve checked luggage ---it wouldn't automatically go to the next destination. I was going to another U.S. destination, so I thought that didn't apply to me. Then they made the announcement again and I thought they said "everyone" had to retrieve their luggage ---but it was garbled and I wasn't sure. Politely, I asked one flight attendant for clarification. She got testy and told me to pay attention to the announcements ---then, instead of answering my question, told me to ask another employee. (Maybe she didn't hear it either.)

On the other hand, when I was waiting for the bathroom on my overnight flight to Brazil, I had a conversation with flight attendant Alex about my upcoming trip (returning to Brazil after living there 42 years ago, to visit old friends and former students.) Alex is a Brazilian, now living in the U.S. When I entered the plane on my way home, Alex was working that flight, and not only remembered me, but also wanted to hear about my trip. I was impressed. She must deal with thousands of people each month ---but she even remembered my name.

Thank you for all you do to make flights as painless as possible under difficult conditions.

Neuffj said...

I totally agree with you. Not that I am a flight attendant or anything, but ALL people deserve and please and a thank you. I get annoyed with etiquette on flights as well. I am sorry you have to deal with it while making a living. Still, I ALWAYS wanted to do what you do.