Frustration, guilt, and my rant.

In the last 2 years I have GAINED 20 pounds.

My back is starting to complain.

About once a week I tweak my nerve and it hurts for days..

Some mornings I wake up and my right hip is in pain.

I'm getting older and more out of shape as the years go.

At the rate of 10lbs per year, if I continue on this track, I will be 260 pounds by the time I reach 40.

I am 5'6" tall.

I don't think my frame will be able to handle that.

But I don't know what to do.

I lack the discipline to eat healthy.

I love me some sweets.

They are crack to me.

How do you all get motivated and stay motivated?

Additionally, it's friggin' cold outside.

So I try to do the 30 shred and I can't get past 15 minutes.

I cannot even get past 10.

Lately I wonder if I should just give up on being healthy, or if I should just keep trying.

By the time I have the motivation to work out my son is home from preschool, and I need to give him attention.

Or like on Saturday, I woke up with the most outrageous urge to go for a jog, but it was super windy and raining.

And it was like 30 degrees out.

I'm at a complete loss as to what to do.

I did see that someone makes a list of what she can have instead of what she can't.

That way she can focus on the good stuff, instead of the bad stuff.

Maybe I should start there.

Exercise is only going to help fuel me to get healthy, but I can't get healthy unless I'm eating healthy.

Such a horrid circle.

Sorry, had to rant.

It's one of those days, yanno?

I'll try not to be gone for so long, I've just been burned out on a lot lately.

Can you tell?

lol

xoxo

Day 11: Half Way Through

I'm halfway through my 21 days to create a habit challenge.

While I didn't stick with the plan this past weekend, I am feeling pleased in my choices.

I have started jogging again, and feel I have more energy.

I've been tracking how much water I drink, and therefore trying to drinking more.

I'm not eating what I should be, but I'm not one to deny myself a food.

I'm working on moderation, and that is the biggest thing for me.

It's a good lesson to learn, and it's been rewarding to keep an eye on what I am eating and craving.

Overall, I feel that the first 10 days were a great lesson in what I'm doing wrong, what I can change, and finding what I love to get moving.

Day 10: Menu Plan Monday

I'm well!

My father in law rode up his Harley this past weekend so I've been busy!

He rode 12 hours.

In the rain.

He's a brave {crazy} man!

But we had a a good time, unfortunately, I didn't stick to our menu plan or my healthy eating either.

Fail.

I didn't even go jogging.

I did go Thursday and Friday however.

With the kids even!

They are riding their bikes with me while I jog, and it's a wonderful way for us all to get some exercise in!

I also went jogging today, without the kids.

Which is almost just as lovely.

And a lot less stressful.

For dinners this week we are throwing in some tried and true recipes.

Along with a few new recipes, which is always nice and balanced.

Tonight we're having pizza with my mother in law :)

Turkey Burgers with Herb Sauce and Oven Fries
Crock Pot Gluten Free Chimichangas {Labor Intensive} with spanish rice

Chicken Bruchetta with rice and veggies

Friday: Date Night! We have the kids. Probably pizza or mac & cheese.

BBQ Meatloaf with sweet potatoes and salad

Crock Pot Chicken Stroganoff

Breakfast is a bit difficult for me, as it's full of processed foods typically.

Yogurt with fruit and granola

Smoothies with flax seed

Eggs with bell peppers and cheese

Pancakes, bacon and fruit

I don't like to cook for lunch, so we usually end up with some variety of sandwiches.

Grilled cheese or quesadillas

Peanut butter & honey/apple butter

Macaroni & Cheese with turkey hotdogs

Left overs

I linked up this with with Organization Junkie! Where you can view hundreds of menu plans each week!

Day 5: It's really unimaginable....

It's no lie, I'm a HUGE fan of Disneyland.

After taking our kids this past March I have been wanting to go back.

It has only been 2 months.

Today.

So, when my sweet friend Amy texted me Sunday night about a race at the Happiest Place on Earth, I knew I must do this race.

You see, Disney World has had a marathon and half marathon and even 5k races IN THE PARK for a long time now.

While I love the idea, I was not set on spending all the money to get there.

But for some reason, when Amy got all excited about the new race in Disneyland, so did I.

So why is this "unimaginable"?

I have never ever ever EVER said I'd do a half marathon.

In fact a few of my awesome and amazing super athletic friends ran a half last weekend.

One of them even ran the full marathon.

I just smiled.

"I'll never want to do a half or full marathon," I said.

Famous last words.

So will I be jogging with Tink in January?

Not hardly.

I'm not ready in any way to think about doing this in 6 months.

However, Amy, Christa and I will probably plan for January of 2013.

Provided those newlyweds don't end up knocked up.

Both of them are getting married this year.

Not that I'd be upset at them, they can come and cheer me on in my insanity.

I'll just jog with their husbands instead.

So there.

*sticks out tongue*

In the meantime, I need to get my butt moving for a 5k, and work up to a half marathon next June.

Maybe I'll endure the insanity that is the Ogden half.

Yeah...maybe not.

I guess we'll just see.

But I will NEVER EVER do a full blown Marathon.

You must be nuts!

I'm sure I'll eat my words some day.

Day 4: Have a goal

I need a goal.

Not just a reward for making it 21 days.

Or finishing Couch to 5k.

I need...a goal.

A final resting place.

I'm 5'6".

I'm currently 15 pounds over the top weight listed.

Is it huge.

Not really.

Do I like it?

Not at all.

So, where would I want to fall in that lovely thing up there?

I'm not sure.

While I'd be happy just to be at the top of my margin, I've also got a bigger goal in my head.

But by July 22nd, I'm thinking I need to be at least 160.

Maybe less.

But it's only 2 months from now.

15 pounds in 2 months?

That's a little over 7 pounds a month.

1 3/4 pounds per week.

Who knows.

We will see.

My ultimate goal would to be a size 8 again.

I wouldn't even care what the scale said.

Really.

I'm so done fighting those numbers sometimes.

But I do want to also reward myself.

When I hit June 11th, I want to be able to say, "I did it".

I made it 21 days, and I plan on going for 42 more.

Yeah, that's a lot.

But I can do it.

So.

My reward?

I don't know to be honest.

I love some clothes.

But I don't want to fork out money for something that will only fit me for a short time.

Maybe some shoes.

Maybe a purse.

But probably I'll go buy me some Flirt style jeans from Old Navy.

Cute, right?

Day 3: Menu Plan Monday

You might know that I'm doing a 21 day challenge to form a healthy habit.

Since eating is also essential for health, I figured my menu planning post should just be part of my blogging journey for my healthy journey.

I like to eat.

I LOVE to eat good food.

I am also lazy.

I would almost prefer to shove take out or fast food in my face than to cook.

It's sad, and true.

However, I'm not one to limit myself on much of anything.

I'll eat carbs till the cows come home.

Sorry Mom.

But I also love to eat anything else that is healthy, and relatively easy to make.

I've been in a rut for the last year creating the same 15 dishes every month.

We ate out more than I care to admit.

So now, I'm doing more searching online for recipes.

We haven't had something out of my regular line up in weeks.

I love it.

We still are eating out some, but not as much.

I'm continuing to use some gluten free recipes in my cooking, mostly because they are yummy!

I'm trying to find some awesome breakfasts that will appeal to my anti-egg son, and my anti-cereal daughter.

But will also appeal to my appetite too.

It's not easy.

{I love suggestions!}

Lunch is a hard one around here as we are a sandwich kind of family.

I'm trying to break that habit.

Also, very hard.

Anyways, here is what I have planned for this week.

Dinner:

Crockpot Cranberry Pork Roast with rice and oven baked veggies
Crockpot Gluten Free Teriyaki Chicken with rice and veggies
Crockpot Gluten Free Apricot Chicken with rice and veggies
Crockpot Chicken Tortilla Soup with sour cream and tortilla chips

Friday: Date Night! Mango Quinoa Salad

Breakfast:

Cereal
Pancakes
apple oatmeal bake
eggs & toast
oatmeal

Roly Poly Breakfast balls

Smoothies

Lunch:

grilled pizza sammies
peaut butter & honey
leftovers
deli meat sammies

I am participating at OrgJunkie where every week you can find hundereds of Menu Plans!

Day 2: Starting my Couch to 5k jogging

Yesterday I was to start my 21 days to change.

Lets just say, I'm not off to a good start.

I didn't exercise.

I had probably too much Sushi at lunch with some girlfriends.

McDonalds was my choice for dinner.

Lastly, a king size Symphony bar was my 9pm snack.

The whole thing.

Yikes.

Thankfully today is a new day for me, for all of us.

Today I'm making better choices.

I started my Couch to 5k jogging program.

Surprisingly, it didn't kick my butt entirely.

I enjoyed it a lot.

Even if it was raining a bit.

Which made me enjoy it more.

I'm weird.

Today is going to be a lazy day around the house.

{cut me some slack, I walked/jogged this morning}

Building a fort in the living room.

Flower girl dress fitting for my little girl.

Playing cars with my little guy.

Snuggling with my hubby.

I haven't eaten breakfast yet.

It's noon.

It'll be a bowl of oatmeal for me.

Who knows what's for lunch.

Broiled fish tacos are for dinner.

And lots of water.

It should be a good day.

image sources

Want to join me? Read Here

Want to learn what's helping me? Read Here

Day 1 of 21: My partner in weight loss

I have an Android phone.

It goes EVERYWHERE with me.

It is my tool of choice to help me in my 21 day Lifestyle Change journey.

I want to encourage you as well to find a device or something that can help you too.

So, so why my phone?

I love me some apps.

I'm listing below {and linking of course} to my favorite apps in the Android Market that will help me along the way.

Best part?

Most of them are FREE.

That's a price I can't argue with.

Pandora Radio

You cannot go for a jog, or work out to Jillian Michael's 30-day shred without music.

This app allows you to listen to anything you like, and of course, syncs with your computer for when you're blogging/surfing Facebook/using Pinterest.

Drinking Water

Drinking water every day is CRITICAL for weightloss.

It helps boost your metabolism, and keeps you hydrated and energized for all those sweaty moments.

It also helps clear up your skin.

This app will remind you to drink water.

You can customize it to how much you should drink {I'm doing 11 8oz glasses} and the timeframe from which you want to do that in.

I've been using it for a week.

My water drinking is UP.

Days Left Widget

This is a fun little widget for your phone.

It tells you how many days until a set date.

21 days.

June 10th?

Done.

It's good for motivation.

Bible

Need daily inspiration?

Want to set up a Bible reading plan?

I really like the YouVersion app.

I admit, haven't been using it like I could, but I plan on it now.

I'm such a book in hand kind of girl.

And my margins in my Bible are totally marked up.

So I'll use this app along with my Bible.

This app has reading plans such as Food, Clothing, Drugs & Alcohol, and Hope.

Plus tons of others.

I'm going to start with Food.

We'll see what else I explore.

My Tracks by Google

I've used this app a few times, and it can be kindof complicated, but I like it.

Start it before you go on your jog or walk.

It keeps track of where you went, how fast you went and how far it was.

Then you can export the info to Google Docs.

It will run while you listen to music too.

I really like this as it helps keep track of everything I need to help me succeed at reaching my 5K goals, and to following the Couch to 5k Program.

Speaking of which, I had this Couch to 5k App on my iPhone.

I really liked it.

I'll probably buy it for my Android, since the prompts are PERFECT and will help me out.

I used to have Calorie Counter on my phone too.

It helped me keep track of what I was eating, how much exercise I got, and how much water I was drinking.

I really liked it, but for some reason I quit using it and so I uninstalled it.

I'll be re-installing it today.

I actually lost 5 pounds in 3 weeks while using it.

Really.

The hard part is most of my meals I put in were estimates, as I don't have a scale.

{should I buy one?}

So, those are the apps I use on my phone the most.

I think they can help you too.

Well, I hope they can.

And no, I wasn't paid by Google or any of these apps developers to show them off.

I wish.

What apps have you found for your Android or iPhone to help you out on your weight loss journey?

...21 days...

Ever since my hubby and I decided we were done having kids, I have been struggling to loose weight.

I'm not fat, but I am a bit....cushy.

In all honesty, I'm not at all pleased with many parts of my body.

My gut looks 6 months preggers.

My arms are getting a bit flappy.

I can live with my butt and thighs, yes really.

It's not that I want to diet, I want a lifestyle change.

I'm not a fan of cutting out tons of foods.

I'm a fan of eating healthy.

Clean foods.

No processed junk.

But man, oh man, I love me some sweets.

It's my downfall really.

Give me cake, cookies or cupcakes, and I'll be your best friend.

Oreo's are of the devil.

While I know that "hating" yourself is against God's plan for you {Romans 9:20}, there is a way to go about it with God's blessings.

Proverbs 3:7-8

1 Timothy 4:8

Hebrews 12:1-2

I mean, He gave you this body {1 Corinthians 3:16}.

He has told you to take care of it, which includes keeping it healthy.

So with all of this in mind, I'm going to join Miss Angie of My So-Called Chaos {who is a real life & blogging friend} and step things up.

A couple of very close friends of mine have already started doing something for themselves, and are encouraging me to join them as well.

I pledge to take:

21 days to form a habit.

21 days to make a change.

I have about 63 days till one of my other close friends wedding, and being in the line is giving me some anxiety.

That, and I know that my current lifestyle is not healthy for me, for my kids or for my relationship with Jesus.

Even my awesome hubby has taken to walking daily at least to the bus stop and back and around work.

If not more.

So I'm not alone in this journey.

I have accountability.

I have purpose.

I think you should join us.

My goals:

Get closer to Jesus.

Fit into my clothes better.

Drink more water.

{did you know you're supposed to divide your weight in half and that's how many ounces you should be drinking? I didn't.}

Feel better about myself.

Be able to jog at least a mile by using Couch to 5k.

Eat healthier and cleaner foods.

No more fast food.

Less Starbucks.

*gasp*

Good bye Oreo's.

Reach my New Years Resolution to jog a 5k this year.

Blog *nearly* everyday to keep myself accountable.

I can do this.

So can you.